IT'S ON LIKE TRON!

Christmas is almost here; I am completely unprepared. I didn't have money to get anyone a presents, or get materials to make anything... so I pretty much look like a deadbeat asshole child/friend/sibling/family member this year. Much like every other day/year... ha. New Years Eve is going to be pretty chill. Probably just going to the island either to chill in Ladysmith at Kory n Myla's or to Nanaimer to chill with Michelle. Either way it will be getting baked and chilling, no crazy drunken times.

I have this growing obsession with high-top shoes. I have no idea why, but they're so awesome. WET PANTIES kind of awesome. I need to go clothes shopping. I need someone to come clothes shopping and help me make outfits that don't look retarded.

Speaking of friends, Michelle and I started talking last night. Random message from her on msn out of the blue... then it just seemed like nothing ever really happeend (as usual.) Guess that's why they call them best friends for life?

Still trying to find a weed hook-up in V'couvie... well, not so much trying as much as hoping someone will bring me weed. Someone bring me some j's and come on an adventure. Dooooo it.

Also still making decisions about the move to Calgary. I think I'm going to write dad and plan a visit sometime next spring/summer for a week or so. I've also been letting my feelings for someone sort of take over, bad move. I saw a super ridiculously cute photo of him on the F-book (gaybook) and I started to swoon again. Time to bury those feelings deep. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE! EAT THOSE FEELINGS, EMOTIONAL FATTY!

I did find a cute boy that I secretly have a secret facebook crush on. Facebook is horrible. It turns the sweetest of people (me) into creepy inter-stalkers (not me.) He's so gnarly though, every single default pic i swooned a little more. Pics of him with bloody lips after drinking out of broken wine bottles, pics of him puking on sidewalks, pics of him stoned. Stoner grungey hippy dude, let's do it. IT'S ON LIKE TRON!

B-b-b-ird bird bird, bird is the word!

Ok, I forgot all about Mount Royal College... but it seems as thought they don't offer any web/graphics design courses ANYWAYS. Suck a dink, Mt Royal. Sait is still looking like my top choice for schools in Calgary. I can only find a course for Digital Graphics so far... it doesn't look like they have a combined webpage development/graphic design course/certificate/degree, so that kind of sucks. I have to keep looking, though. Digital Graphics is better than nothing. It's kind of kicking me in the face though because the Digital Graphics course at sait is about 9 grand for 2 years... whereas at SFU or BCIT I can take a combined web/graphics course for 2 grand LESS. Is moving out of Vancouver a year or 2 early worth 2 grand? Looks like I have some serious things to consider that I hadn't really thought about until now. And I've decided not to let the fact that Rupert lives there sway any decisions I make. I shouldn't even have feelings for him anymore and it's totally ridiculous to think that anything will happen between us: he has a girlfriend! He loves her, not me. I don't even enter his mind at all. Ever. So that's case closed. Girlfriend = case closed. haha.

I have a meeting with a councilor at VLN this Thursday to enroll in the rest of the courses I need to graduate. I'm not working right now and I need to get it done so I figure I can just buckle down and get them all done at the same time asap. It will be REALLY hard to motivate myself, I'm already having problems motivating myself to do English assignments... so I think after my WoW subscription runs out I won't be renewing it until I'm finished these courses. If I can motivate myself enough I think I might be able to get them done by April or May. I have until June 1st to finish them, but the sooner I finish them the better.

My grandma is coming to visit from Calgary today and will be arriving in about 2.5 hours. I have to give up my room and live in the basement for about a week because she can't walk up/down stairs. That is going to suck big time. I also have to clean my entire room and wash some bedding for her before she gets here. Ugh.

Guess I should get on that.

Tis the season... TO FREAK OUT! aka Joyeux Noel on speed.

I think I know why they call it the loneliest time of the year... it sure is disheartening, that's for sure. I have no idea what it is about this time of year that makes one think of everything that is lacking in their life but it's ridiculous. Who's idea was it to make people depressed/lonely during the most miserable season of the year? I bet whomever came up with the idea also likes the idea of punching kittens and drowning puppies, too.

It's not THAT bad, I guess. I stopped taking to Oliver... it just wasn't even worth wasting my effort. I'm over jumping through hoops to get his attention, he can find someone else to do that. I'm starting to get a clearer idea of what's going to happen in my future as far as moving to Calgary and going to school there are concerned. Still a few kinks in the time line to flatten out, but it's moving along. I'm just having problems wrapping my head around the idea of living in the same city as Rupert and I can't decide whether or not that is a good idea or not. I know I'm not moving there FOR him, but I don't want to move there and then have my reasons and plans for moving there changed or compromised because of being around him. He's entered my mind more than a few times lately and I can't say that my feelings for him have ever really wavered, and I can see how I could get hurt again very easily if things took a few wrong turns. I wouldn't want something like that to affect my schooling. At any rate, SAIT looks like a pretty promising choice as far as schools go... I have to look at other schools and see what web design classes they have and whatnot. Good ol' school hunts.

I am excited to move to Calgary for school, but also because I see it as an opportunity to meet new people. I'm sorry Vancouver, but I'm sick of walking down the street and feeling negative energy from everyone, or running into people I used to be friends with but no longer associate with. Everyone here is so in their own little worlds and doesn't care about anyone else. It's stupid. It doesn't hurt to be nice for no reason sometimes, guys. Yes, EVEN to strangers and people who may not necessarily be in your close personal circle of friends. OMG. I already have a friend in Cowtown. Ashley and I are going to be the cutest nerdiest friends ever.

I'm also not working right now, which sucks because I really need money for a lot of things: dentistry, tattoo, school, debt, moving costs, etc. etc. etc. I need to pay for all of that, and I also need to save up a reasonable amount of money with which to move to Calgary. I have no idea how much that will cost. I'm thinking I will probably sell anything that can't be carried on or easily shipped out there. So that will save me some money on moving costs, but I will also need to have a bit of money in that budget to buy some furniture (like a bed) when I get there. This would be a PRIME time for some mystery rich family member of mine to die and leave me millions of dollars. PRIME.






.....still prime?



damn.